The Drop Off

 When Luke got his travel info for the mission, He got to choose whether to fly to Utah and get dropped off, or have us drive him up.  He chose for us to drive him.  So, on Tuesday morning, the 29th of March, we loaded up the minivan and drove straight through to Provo.  It was a long, difficult drive.  We could only listen to church music and Luke was silent the whole drive.  I could tell how nervous and anxious he was.  We checked into a hotel in Provo that night, when we arrived.  And he immediately went to bed.  He didn't want to go anywhere or do anything and we had pizza delivered to the room.  I was so worried about him, but he wouldn't talk to us.  I just prayed hard all night and hardly slept.

The next morning, he wouldn't get up and get ready.  We were supposed to have him to the MTC by 1:45.  And we needed to check out of the hotel by noon.  I was able to finally get him up and in the shower.  We barely made check out at noon.  But, we did.  We were supposed to meet Chloe, Christian, Carter, Kaitlyn, Sarah, Isaac and the kids at Chick fil A for lunch and so that they could tell him goodbye.  But when we got there, he wouldn't get out of the car.  So, Cali, Brody and I went in and had lunch with everyone and explained that he was too anxious to come in.  They totally understood.

Then, Jeremy came in and told me that Luke needed to talk to me.  I went out to the car and he just totally let everything out.  I told him that he didn't have to go.  That we could call the MTC and tell them that he isn't ready.  I told him that it was ok to change his mind.  I told him that I loved him no matter what.  And that Heavenly Father loves him too.  And that He understands how Luke feels.  I hugged him hard!  And then, he was ok.  Like really OK.  He just needed to get it all out.  Everything that he had been holding in.  And he felt better and ready.  I was still worried, but he insisted that he wanted to do this and that he was ready to go.  He hopped out of the car to give Sarah & Isaac and the kids hugs before we left for the MTC.

We had 20 minutes before his check in time!  We drove to the parking lot across the street from the MTC to take some pics and say our goodbyes-

I didn't want to let him go!  But I wanted this so bad for him too!  It was hard!

We piled back into the van and drove across the street and followed the signs to the missionary drop off in the underground parking garage...

A couple of Elders came out to help him get his luggage and we got to say one last goodbye.  Then I watched him walk away.  He didn't even turn around.  Off he went!  That's when I finally broke down.

I was balling as we drove out of the garage.  It was very quiet in the car for a very long time. No one spoke.  We immediately got on the freeway and headed for Las Vegas.  Brody and I were catching a flight out to Cincinatti that night.  

That was literally one of the most difficult things I have ever had to go through as a mom.  I prayed and prayed and prayed the whole way to Vegas.  

But he is in the Lord's hands now.  I did my best, I think.  I know I tried.  He is so freaking awesome and will be the bestest missionary!  I just hope he realizes it, like the rest of us do.  God be with you my son!